Adult Life Sucks

Today has been boring, frustrating and on the whole pointless.

Work today was a total non-starter. I went in determined to do some productive work and move a step closer to finishing my doc (even if it was the smallest of steps). Within an hour it was obvious I wasn't going to get anywhere, set back after set back. I just couldn't concentrate and do what needed doing, I'm sure if I could have concentrated for 3 hours today I could have done what I wanted, but I just spent my time on BBC sport and checking my emails over and over again. Somebody who wasn't supposed to be a professional would be happy to just spend a day doing nothing, but I'm supposed to be my own boss and make self-determined progress.

But that's not the real reason that I'm feeling down. I think its because work is such a big part of my life, some if not most days I don't talk to anybody outside of work, I spend 10 maybe 12 hours there a day because the ways I could spend my time are depressing. Going to the gym is all well and good, but it should be a chore not the highlight of your day. Watching TV or going to the cinema on my own are just too depressing. I just hope day soon I have either some proper friends here or maybe a girlfriend to spend a few nights a week with, and eventually I just hope I have a wife and a family and settle down to be normal.

At the minute my life consists of a few repetitive activities:

1: Work. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. But on the whole I rarely wake-up and think "oh shit I don't want to go to work"
2: W**king. Just a habit to maintain my sanity and make sure I don't have to sit at work with a erection.
3: Gym. I enjoy this. But my real motivation is the hope that I'll get thin and fit and pull girls and get laid.
4: DVDs. I always seem to end the day watching blackadder or extras on my laptop whilst lying in bed. This is good and helps my sanity as it is perfectly normal.

Is life all bad?? No of course it isn't, but it seems that once a few things go wrong in a day i collapse into "Life is F**king Shite". Its something I need to overcome. Counting down the days and wishing My life away just because I don't have a girlfriend or anybody to socialise with is totally wrong.

I need to sort it out. I should "work hard and play hard" but life seems to be a blur and I'm always knackered. I think I need to move into a place with some sociable people and start doing stuff outside of work.

Chin up solider, it ain't all bad.